As far back as I can remember, my parents have told me the report that always came home from my teachers was "She's a great kid, but she talks too much" -- Truth is, I can't deny that this may be the truth -- I recently finished a Master's degree and it seems what I'm known most for is throwing my hand toward the ceiling like a magnet to a refrigerator because I just had to add my two cents... some things never change --
Well, back in the life of my newlywed marriage, communication seems to be what everyone tells us is the key to having a great marriage -- Of course when I'd hear this, I'd sort of nod my head with a big smile in agreement, all the while laughing at them inside saying "that will not be a problem for me" -- Ever heard of the statement "put your foot in your mouth?" -- Well... I think I should eat my leg, too --
For all you not so newlyweds, I know you must be laughing at me right now -- I mean seriously, why is it so hard to get your thoughts and feelings across to the opposite sex? If I say Gosh, I'm so tired I get Well, maybe you should go to bed early tonight? -- I don't want to go to bed early tonight, I wanted you to hug me, love me and kiss me because I had a really hard day at work, I've got a lot on my plate with residency and it's closing in on that time of the month, didn't you hear me say that?!?
Um... right --
If he says Man, I'm really tired I say Awe... poor thing, you must have had a really hard day, is there anything you want to talk about? and what he was really saying was Man, I'm really tired -- He doesn't need sympathy, he doesn't need love, he doesn't need ANYTHING! Why has it taken me 9 months to get that?
The sheer thought of all the hard work it will take to learn each others languages makes me want to go back to bed right now -- I realize my examples are shallow and at best, the least of our worries about communication... Where it can really get sticky is when we really do have needs, desires or frustrations that we are trying to get across and it seems like no matter how many ways we say it (or don't say it), our partner just doesn't hear us -- This can lead to us not saying anything at all, withdrawing and possibly finding someone else to say it to --
My encouragement is even if you have to hang signs up in your spouses windshield to get your message across, don't give up on communicating -- As all my friends and mom, of course, have told me, you will learn your partners language and eventually speak it fluently -- Until then, continue speaking yours because they're learning too -- So... when it comes to communicating with the foreign being living in your home, as hard as it may seem, be sure to keep saying something... say anything --