new bra = new woman

I'm not really inspired to do Not Me's today, so you're going to get some random musings on this wretched glorious Monday :)

Random Musings deserves a random pic, right? I wish I were here today.

I started my morning routine as usual when I come into the office by making coffee and washing out coffee cups from last week -- I totally proved to myself that I don't have a sense of smell seeing as 15 minutes later I discovered that our sewage system had thrown up in my toilet -- awesome.

I think my butt is actually getting BIGGER since doing The Shred -- I've always just thought that I had a flat butt... but me thinks not -- This is doing wonders for my wardrobe seeing as I'm filling out my pants more. Um... er, yeah.
******** ETA: Thanks to Becky's Comment.... I felt I should add, my whole body isn't getting bigger! LOL -- JUST MY BUTT!!! I've actually lost quite a few inches in other areas! I just think the muscles in my butt are building and I now officially have a butt that you can acutally see! I didn't want to discourage anyone from doing The Shred... It's transformed my body and still is!

I've sucked at commenting lately. Sorry to all my amazing bloggy friends -- I will hopefully get back in my grove. I miss you!

I'm taking little Miss Elly Mae to the "spa" today. Nails clipped. Nails painted. Body washed. Baby powder applied. Bows in hair. Pix to come later! {p.s. - we wash Elly every week... but since she's going, I'm having them do that, too... I'm not a bad mommy}

I went to Target this weekend! It's totally an even to go seeing as it's a half hour away. I spent 2 glorious hours roaming the isles of this glorious store. Only spent $58.00 so I was proud of myself!

I promised pix of my new office like 3 years ago! The reason you haven't gotten them is because I'm OCD about how it needs to look before the big reveal! Sorry.

I got a new bra and I'm a brand new woman no, I am not bra deprived, I just happened to have one that I love with all my heart and you can read here that it died last week

I know I've talked about my mom a few times on this blog. {pieces of it are here and here} Today, I'm missing her. :(

Happy Monday all !!
Make it a great week!

Not Me... Never Me Monday

First and foremost... Stellan is back in the hospital -- My heart is sad and yet, as always, hopeful for what God has for this precious baby -- Please pray, send good thoughts, say positive words or whatever your fancy is, he needs them --

With that... I think we need a little funny, don't you?? Well... I did not do some pretty insane things this week, so hold on to your panties.

Not Me Monday was created by MckMama -- It's an opportunity to get a little therapy for all those things you would never do, but did :) Click here for all the rules.

I did not eat ice cream for lunch x's 2 this week

I did not add chips and drink to round 2.

In addition to this... I did not eat chips and salsa for lunch one day and for dinner another.

I am no longer wondering why I haven't lost any inches on my hips

I did not skip cooking dinner for my neglected sweet and understanding husband every night this week. Oh. Except Sunday... :)

This was not one of my worst weeks ever.

I'm not an emotional eater.

i am not.

i am not.

i am not.

Friday my bra was not sticking me in the side from escaping under-wire -- It hurt so badly by 3:30... I did not take off my bra at work and steal borrow our receptionist hoodie she so conveniently left on the back of her chair to cover up my braless chest. That would be ridiculous.

Speaking of hips... I have not been measuring the wrong part of my hips as my "hips" and thinking I just wasn't losing any inches. Not me. I'm not 31 years old and just now learning what part of my body to measure as my hips. seriously. not. me.


Just a few more pix to convince you he's worth a minute of your time today because I'm just cruel like that

Of course ALL pix by MckMama

NOT that you needed convincing :)

YOU HAVE TIL NOON TO ENTER

MY GIVEAWAY!!

Have a HAPPY Monday

Not My Child Fur Baby Monday!!!

Not Me Monday with a twist and then another twist if you're without child like me -- MckMama's mixin' it up this week! Click here for details!

If you follow my tweets, you'll know we have NO internet today!! I did NOT drive home at work to finish my NOT ME post!!

So... what would Elly Mae never do???

First and foremost... Elly would never have learned how to knock on the door when she wants to come in. She finds anything she can, picks it up with her mouth and throws it against the glass door. Once she knocks, she does not stand on her hind legs and beg. Apparently she's impatient, too... if we don't come the first time, she does not bang one of her toys insistently on the back door until we do come and let her in. Not Elly :)


Elly Mae thinks has been taught by her mommy and daddy that she is a princess. She does not prance everywhere she goes, she has not taken over the back porch and she most definitely has not manipulated her way into convincing her daddy that she needs to be in our bed at night... There's no way those puppy dog eyes work on Mr. R... Ahem. :)


Elly was practically born in a car. She l.o.v.e.s. to go for rides. Being the spoiling parents that we are, we took her fishing the other day because we knew she would simply like the car ride. Of course we stopped at Subway and got a Foot Long Italian Sub and then made another stop to get some bait. There is no way our little 7 lb. bundle of sweetness would eat 6 whole inches of our sub in approximately 9 minutes. I mean clearly this would be impossible.


There was is a lovely set of furniture on our back porch... Our sweet baby would never sit and chew on the corners while Mr. R and I are at work... She's too precious to do something so naughty. Good thing she didn't or daddy would be super mad and make her stay in her crate from now on... Poor baby :)


Oh, yeah... and there's absolutely, unequivocally, no way Elly drives... Not this Fur Baby!!



Hope you enjoyed!

Not Me Monday!

As you can see... Not Me Monday got a makeover! Like it?

Not Me Monday was created by MckMama -- It's an opportunity to get a little therapy for all those things you would never do, but did :) Click here for all the rules.

It's been a few weeks since I've done Not Me... Not because I haven't done anything worthy... just haven't had time!

So... we had steak, corn on the cob and rolls for dinner last night no I did not forget to mention the vegetable, we're just unhealthy like that -- I did not state 2x's during this fabulous southern dinner This is good eatin'! and when finished Mr. Realife said That was great! I definitely did not reply with You ain't kiddin'! and immediately say I am NOT a redneck! Oh... what is North Carolina doing to me?!

Sometimes work can be like beating myself in the head with a hammer grueling -- It's my guess that this is why I did not go home from work one day last week only to realize I'd left my purse, phone, planner and food all at the office. This should be a sign of something... just not sure what!

I'm moving offices at work. It's nice because I'm all the way at the other end of the hallway. The noise level is cut in half, at least and that's nice for my clients. Apparently not good for the other counselors... because I was not laughing so hard that one of them stuck their head out the door and asked that I be quiet. I was not completely mortified and I did not go into my office with the woman I was laughing with and giggle like I was 13 years old! I'm guessing that's what stress can do to a person?

I do not have to get to work!

HAPPY MONDAY!!!
and
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MCKMAMA!!!!

Not Much Not Me Monday!

Anything you absolutely would never do this week? Have you lived to tell about it? Do you need to just get it off your chest? Welp... you've come to the right place -- MckMama over at My Charming Kids came up with this little writing therapy to deal with how silly we are not, how crazy we would never be, or what odd things we would never do :) Click here for the rules!

I however, have not done that many thing this week to talk about! I probably have, it's just that after yesterday's post, I'm sort of pooped :)

Yet... I could never leave my readers hanging ;0) So, I am going to share one small thing with you that I would never do -- I did not take these pictures -- There's no way on earth I'd even think of taking pictures of Elly Mae cuddling in our shorts/pants whilst we relieve ourselves go potty... that would be totally uncouth and and defintely redneckish... and we are not rednecks - Like for real -- We only discovered Miss Elly Mae's love for cuddling at our feet whilst on the throne recently... She apparently senses that we are on our way and prances as fast as she can to the bathroom to wait for us -- This may possibly be what it looks like if I took pictures of it...

Not Us!!

HAPPY MONDAY!

NOT ME MONDAY!

Have you had a hard week? Anything you need to just 'talk about'? Something there's no way on earth you did and you're living to tell about it? This is your chance to get a little writing therapy! Join MckMama over at MyCharmingKids for Not Me Monday! Click here for all the rules!

Really? I can't believe I'm going to tell you this... But I will since I never did it -- Mr. Realife and I went Saturday to pick up our horse! She's been at the breeding farm 3 months and it was time to come home. Took about an hour to get there and the facilities were, let's just say, so freaking filthy an animal wouldn't feel comfortable going less than clean, and I didn't want to sit my pretty little arse on their toilet. So... there's no way I squatted in the back of our horse trailer and let it all go -- It's a good thing I didn't do this or that would indicate that I'm turning into a real country girl and that is just never gonna happen -- and while we're not doing things, there's no way I just told you this, so I'm not totally flushed in the face right now -- Not Me!

I think I may love chocolate way. too. much. -- Around 3 o'clock daily I get a chocolate attack and must indulge in even just one Hersey's Kiss -- Well... sometimes a Kiss is just not enough -- I did not go last Thursday on my lunch break and buy $15 worth of chocolate... to add insult to injury, this shopping excursion did not happen at the DOLLAR STORE -- No way... that would mean I bought 15 different items containing chocolate -- Yet, if I had actually bought all that chocolate, it would all reside in my top desk drawer -- Good thing I didn't! Not Me!!

With all that talk of chocolate, I almost forgot that I'm doing Jillian Michaels' 30 day Shred -- I'll never give up chocolate -- Today will be day 7 and well... I'm finally able to lift my arms to brush my teeth without looking like I'm 96 y/o -- I would never spend my 20 minutes of working out cursing the day Jillian was born or for that matter, modern technology that allows us to transfer such torture information from their studio to our homes -- Not Me!

OK... enough of the things I haven't done this week! Let's here if from you!

p.s. -- Tomorrow, I'll be showing you my dining room -- Hopefully Wednesday we'll have another dream entry and I'll be doing a "10 day update" on the Shred on Friday morning!!

HAPPY MONDAY :)

Not Me - Never Me Monday!

Inspired by MckMama and her MSC*

Need a bit of therapy? Anything you didn't do this week that you lived through to blog about? Well MckMama over at My Charming Kids has just the thing -- Click here to read all about it! Then get goin'!

As for me and the cast of Alice, we spent a glorious 3 days on the sandy beaches of the OBX... Duck, NC to be exact --

We each brought a little something for the weekend... I was responsible for desserts :) Of course... these are southern women we're dealing with and well... southern desserts is what they may have expected -- But Not Me -- I would never buy a ton of mini candy bars and call it a hard days work standing in the grocery line -- Not Me -- but of course, if I did do this, I would bust out the candy just as soon as I walked up those pretty green steps and pile them in baskets around the beach house... not me -- I would never hear "{Mrs. Realife}, when you said you have a husband who loves sweets and knew the perfect desserts to bring, were you really talking about candy bars?" Absolutely NOT - I would NEVER mean that ;0) What southern woman would feed their husband candy bars as dessert -- Not Me!

I am not obsessed with taking photographs of food -- I did not take 196 of 387 pictures of food and beverages and other non-living items -- That would be really ridiculous -- I did not eat everything these southern ladies made, but it sure looked good -- I'm also not saying I didn't drink with the best of them all day, everyday during breakfast, lunch and dinner... Not Me!

We did not eat like queens all weekend... For breakfast:

and maybe after a little too much of this...



we absolutely did not do this... that would be childish... clearly. Never. Us.

Speaking of food... 6 women did not eat this entire refrigerator

of food in 3 days... Not ladylike southern women...

But if we did eat this entire refrigerator of food, it would have included:


Good thing we didn't eat all that.

After breakfast we did not do this...



Whilst watching Sex and the City and cry, laugh and pausing a zillion times to do whatever drink more mimosas... If you haven' t seen this movie already, I highly recommend you do it with 6 women. Awesome.

Of course then we needed a little of this...



To do a lot of this...




While we watched a lot of these...



There is also no way we spent that entire first evening watching naked people run around in the sand and do 'wiki wiki' dances -- Even if we did, we would not have totally enjoyed it ;0)


{actually, it was a really great outdoor theater and they told the story of "The Lost Colony",
The original colony that settled in America, never to be seen again}

The next day, we did not repeat said above activities only to not consume a lot more a little bit more of this...

Which may or may not have led to our need of these...



Which if I were allowed to tell you what we did not do, then I would show you these pictures...



... and what ever it was that we were not doing, it seemed to catch on pretty quickly!



OK! OK! On with it! See that woman above in white cropped pants on the left?? It just so happens her husband flies helicopters -- He did not call and tell us he was just north of where we were staying and tell us he was going to try and find us! So we did what any sane group of would not do and got all the lamps and every candle we could find and we all went and stood out on the house balcony:



At some point, her husband said "I think the guys in the cab thought y'all would be topless and that's why they're letting me do this" -- We did not all proceed to throw our shirts off because we all had bathing suit tops on underneath and once we heard the helicopter flying nearby, run back and forth waving candles and lamps, screaming because clearly screaming would help "HERE WE ARE! WE'RE OVER HERE!!" -- Of course all of this was not taking place at 10:30 at night and all the of neighbors were not standing on their balconys wondering what these crazy, topless women were doing... Not Us! Never Us!

That following Wednesday... we'd finally sobered up gotten back into the rhythm of reality and we all had dinner together with our theater company...



Oh, the joys of not doing all these things and living to tell about them!

HAPPY MONDAY!