NOT ME MONDAY!!

Inspired by MckMama and her MSC*

Well folks, looky here -- It's Monday. Again. Seems to always happen right after Sunday -- What a coincidence cowinkydink (pronounced co-winky-dink) Um... yeah. Getting on with it --

I forewarn you that this post will mostly consist of fecal matter and all things puppy -- Why? Because Dan and I have brought this pooping and peeing machine sweet little muffkin (muffin and pumpkin mix ;0) into our lives and I am we are completely overwhelmed with little Elly Mae --

First and foremost, as you may or may not remember, I only work part-time within my counseling agency -- This means 20 hours a week -- Seeing as I took a 6 day work hiatus, when we returned from our trip, I jumped into a 40 hour work week to make up -- This would mean Dan spent all those hours loving our new muffkin Elly Mae -- So... what does all this mean? Dan needed to get up for something and because Elly was falling asleep on him, he put her on me -- Elly would never wake up, look grievously over toward Dan and whine -- No... Elly is not my dog and no, she did not dis me for Dan and no, I would never feel like a neglectful mother -- Nope! Not Me!

I have not been woken up at least 3 times a night to get dressed and undressed in warm clothes to train our pee machine new baby that she must go outside to relieve herself and I did not have to explain to more than one client last week why I was yawning through most of their session -- To add to my misery On top of this, Dan was sick with a horrible cold/cough, so when Elly wasn't whining, Dan was I was not covering my head with a pillow to drown out the sound of a wheezing/coughing husband! -- Nope! Not Me!

Oh, boy, this is making me laugh even as I begin to write (well, type) it -- I do not live in a town where I can drive 9 ways to work, 3 of them consisting of dirt roads -- With this, I would never almost drive off one of these bumpy, pothole filled roads lovely countryside roads when I saw, at 8:30 am mind you, a man sitting on the hood of a rusted, broken down 1976 Ford truck, drinking a beer with his entire butt crack showing the larger part of his bottom side revealing itself to the world -- I did not curse the day I moved to this godforsaken town small town in NC and I would never call Dan and beg to move... Nope! Not Me!

Just a side note... I had to work at the agency this morning and got caught there til 2 on a crisis -- Then I was kicked out of my office graciously gave up my office for another client and so... I did not have to make a pit stop at the local Library to finish this post before I head off to my other job... I mean seriously, this is not that important -- Nope! Not Me!

All I can say is thank God for hardwood floors -- Elly is 8 weeks old, I mean come on folks, don't you think she should know how to poop outside yet (please laugh... I'm not that stupid) -- So... unbeknown to Dan or me, Elly left a large pile of poop little gift for us at the edge of our doorway to our room, so when I was awoken for the first time last night and dressed in all my cold weather garb to take her out... I did not slip and slide in poop and almost fall on my arse, completing what some may call a cartoon like move when I whipped myself around, hit my head on the wall and bounced backward into our dining room table -- I love you little Elly Mae -- Nope! Not Me!

Well... I must stop boring you with my Not Me's and get on my way to another week of fun and exciting escapades -- BUT -- As promised, I will be posting about Dan and my Christmas adventure across 13 freaking states to visit our wonderful families -- Happy Monday!

*Many Small Children