Wednesday, August 12, 2009

What's been goin' ON with that girl?

If you've been reading, you know that there have been some interesting things taking place in my life -- Good? No. Exciting? Not exactly. Emotionally Draining? Yes. Opportunity to grow and move forward? Absolutely.

I have a vision board for my life. It's full of things I want to do personally, professionally, socially, financially, etc... I keep it there to remind me of the big picture of where I'm going with my life. When weeks like these last three go by, my board truly keeps me focused on the bigger picture.

As a passionate and sincere person in every area of my life, it's difficult when you work diligently to resolve a situation in "decency and order" and the whole thing blows up in your face. It's even more difficult to resolve stuff when people misconstrue things I've said, take things I've done the wrong way and the misrepresent me to others, especially when it's people you've trusted. Fuck.

In addition to this, it's even harder when what you're facing creates an association back to the worst time in your life.

Then it's devastating to realize you haven't yet fully dealt with the past.

I don't believe in living in the past...
but I do believe our present is effected by it.
So when it's effected, it's our job to revisit and resolve it.

I realize I'm being vague... Some things just can't be talked about. I'm sorry.

*****************************************************
On a completely different note...

My blog was originally started to help pull myself out of the "reality of married life" slums 5 months after I was hitched. Once I started writing, I quickly learned that being married was pretty funny and a joy to share it's ups and downs and virtually connected with a ton of amazing other married women.

These last couple weeks, I've very seriously considered deleting my blog and moving on from the virtual world. On top of the other things said above, a few things happened where I felt very vulnerable to judgment. My heart would never be to hurt, offend or demean anyone through this blog.

On the other hand, it is not my responsibility to babysit anyone's feelings, each person, just as I am for myself, is responsible for their own reactions to not only my blog, but anyone else's blog and for that matter... anything else going on in their life! If you stop following me because I haven't commented on your blog or featured you on a Friday, I have to be honest in saying you may want to look inward at why you take things so personally... I can bet it's not just my blog you deal with these feelings.

So... let's play adults and communicate! :)

I digress...

With all that shitty stuff aside... I can't tell you what each of your responses to my post on Monday did for me in encouraging me to continue with my blog! I believe my life's purpose is to inspire, encourage and motivate others, so telling me that I've done just that for you INSPIRES, ENCOURAGES and MOTIVATES ME!!

I'll leave you with this...

...Because sometimes you need to remember what matters.

25 comments:

Becky said...

so perfectly put. and honestly i've considered deleting my blog NUMEROUS times. and i just can't bring myself to do it.

Mrs. Newlywed Giggles said...

You do what you need to do. That's what is important. Don't care what other bloggers and comments say because when it comes down to it, it's your life.

I've started my blog for the same reason you did and I love it. Have there been some bad comments posted and followers unfollowing, yep, but you know what? I don't care. Why? Because I have other followers who say that i make them giggle at least with one of my post and that makes me happy. There are so many things that we all share being newlyweds and it's made me happy to share the ups and some downs because you all understand.

So, again, you do what you want to do because you and only you know what's best for you. Of course if you deleted I would terribly miss reading your posts. :)

Griswold Fun said...

I don't comment often - but please don't quit blogging! You were the first blog I ever found that was honest about marriage and I have greatly enjoyed that!It sucks that life sucks right now and we understand that you don't blog about it - but please don't stop blogging!

Annie said...

i have a vision board too! i love it!
if you delete your blog i will most definatley miss you...love your posts hun!

Lauren said...

I'm so glad you're going to stick around for a bit--I haven't been blogging long but I can certainly see where it could become a burden.

Cocaine Princess said...

I absolutely love your blog and I know it's hard to comment on everyone's blog when you have so many followers. Your blog is one of my faves to read. I love your openness and honesty and yes for featuring me as your "weekly blog love."

I too have a vision board. I look at it several times a day. It keeps me so focused and motivated.

writing4612 said...

It's so important to a have a vision then remind yourself of it. I'm glad you're looking at your vision board. Because when things come along to try and deter you from that plan, you can be reminded of where you're going. You don't have time for petty things.

It is devastating to realize you haven't fully dealt with the past, but at least you got it over with.

Here's to happier weeks ahead!

Allyson said...

Oh my gosh! You've had a lot happen, both online and off. I haven't been following your blog for very long, but so far I think you are fabulous!

PS: I've been trying desperately to make a blog button w/ the scroll box. Do you have any pointers? Or can you send me the code you used for the scroll box? Thanks so much!!

email: peacelovefitness@gmail.com

Have a great day!

Amber said...

I did delete my blog once. I've also wanted to pull away from the virtual world. I would miss my virtual friends too much, but I would still love to.

Yeppers, we are all responsible for our OWN feelings. WITHOUT.A.DOUBT.

:)

LyndsAU said...

you are WONDERFUL!! don't you dare delete your blog!! i would miss you tooooo much!! your blog is one of my faves. sometimes i slack on commenting but i am reading!! hugs and lots of love!

Lindsey said...

I just adore your blog and YOU so please don't delete it! You are fabulous!!

Ashley said...

I would definitely be sad if you deleted your blog because I adore you and, like I have told you before, you are such an inspiration to me in the way you overcome life's obstacles.

Regardless, you do what is best for you and I hope things start to turn around for you! I like the idea of the vision board - very smart!

Sending you HUGS!

Megan said...

So sorry you've been dealing with a bunch of crap both IRL and here on your blog. That sucks. (((HUGS)))

But I'm very glad that you've decided to keep your blog. I'd miss it. =)

The picture is adorable!

I hope things get better for you very soon.

Rhonda said...

Hey, babe! As usual, I read constantly, but rarely post. I've so enjoyed being allowed to follow the vulnerable openness of your life. Yes, that does lend to a high risk b/c of lack of control of who knows your stuff in the this cyber world, but I am also aware that part of your vision (at least as I have understood it) is to be a writer and share your lessons learned with others. Finding just right boundaries is part of that journey.

On a different note, have you heard that I'm engaged? :-)

MissBliss said...

you are the best... and a reason I liked blogs in the beginning!

for any naysayers, wish them, "good luck with that!"

we love the joy you spread here!!!!

Ms. Salti said...

Very happy to hear you're keeping on blogging. You've inspired me more than once, and I expect that you will again. If anything, just take a little hiatus. You might come back more refreshed with more fun stuff to talk about!

Jennie Angelilli said...

Do not stop, I am encouraged,enlightened,entertained and exceedingly glad for everything you share! What is a vision board? I am starting all over again and feel at a loss sometimes, I don't want to mereley exist!!! You can inbox me on FB if you have time. Thank you!

Chic Runner said...

girl, I'm thinking about you and you are one of my fave blogs too, as everyone else has said but it's true you have to do what is right for you. I've almost deleted my blog too!

Krystyn said...

No deleting, m'kay?

Cool..we got that out of the way.

That picture is too cute:)

Lucky in Love said...

Glad you decided to stick around :) XOXO

Lil' Woman said...

I'm glad you decided to stay.. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I hope things look up for you! : )

newlyweds said...

I have a vision board also, and its so great to actually see it coming to life now! Yea. I am sorry that you've had some rude people on your blog. That just sucks. A great thing about your blog is your real, true emotions. But please stick to your heart and self, do what you feel is right for you.

Miss E said...

I'm glad you're back - and that you didn't delete your blog! You are amazing and I would be sad to see you go. Reading what you have to say always centers me, refocuses my attention on the important things in life. Your words make me laugh, cry, nod my head in agreement, go home and kiss my husband, savor the good things in life.

Big hugs to you, friend.

xoxo

Mojito Maven said...

don't even get me started...

ugh

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