I'm not, I'm Dan...

For those of you who've asked...

I was 26 years old, heading to 27 like I was afraid I wouldn’t get there and just beginning to live my life – Having just left a 10 year abusive relationship (not with a man) which I like to refer to as "The Great Break", I was depressed, angry, in deep pain and utterly confused – I had more people telling me what they thought I should do than I have pairs of underwear and so the possibility of hearing my own voice was as likely as a fish understanding English – After six months of this tumultuous lifestyle, I knew the only way to truly find myself was to get away from everything/one that had defined who I was up until that point –

I found myself at my dad’s house for the next 6 months – My parents live in a town of about 500 people, so I knew I was safe from anyone and everyone’s influences (not that anyone knew I was there) – It was the best move I could have made, although the loss of closeness of so many friends was a bit torturous (love you, PA friends!) – I was able to take a deep breath; breathing in peace, acceptance, empathy and again… no opinions – My parents were a saving grace – Then, one year and 5 days from The Great Break, I found myself back in school pursuing my Master’s in Counseling, knowing full well I was there to get the counseling I needed for myself – It worked –

There I was in a new city, not knowing a soul, in my own apartment and living life completely on my own for the first time in my entire life – I stayed to myself for a year… I didn’t want anyone to know me and I didn’t want to know them – I didn’t want people to know my life story, where I’d been, what I’d accomplished or even why I was there at school – I just wanted to be…

It was another year later (for those of you who’ve lost track, it was now two years since the break up) and the few women I had let into my life, pulled me by my bra straps to a “Harbor Fest” for some good fun (did I just say good fun?) – As irony would have it, a few hours into our good fun and just as it was getting dark, I was separated from the girls – As I walked through a claustrophobic crowd of people, I was trying to hear my friend on the cell phone (over music being preformed by Collective Soul) who was telling me We’re over by the tree and as I look around, I see 26 trees (funny, Cynthia) – Next thing I know, I trip over someone’s foot –

I turn to see he is tall, incredibly handsome, blond, and had gorgeous blue eyes – I instinctively say in my most flirtatious voice I’m sorry! He reaches out his hand… I’m not, I’m Dan…