Tuesday Talk: Friend or Folly?

I can't believe I'm even going to give this ridiculous show a thought on my blog, but it fits my purpose today.

Jon and Kate + 8

AKA: Modern day entertainment.

What a shame.

Just a couple days ago, pictures donned of Jon with a 22 y/o girl woman who is the daughter of the surgeon who gave Kate her tummy tuck. That sentence alone should tell you why I hate this shit

When the ridiculousness story appeared on the Today Show two mornings ago, I said to Mr. Realife That ought to tell you something right there.

Not understanding, he asked what I meant and I explained that if under 3 weeks from the time they filed for divorce he's flaunting another woman, not taking her out to a simple dinner, but gallivanting the French Riviera with this chic, that says something about what he had been doing prior to their separation!

He said Well, she was a bitch to him! Everyone knows that! Without a lot of hesitation, I whipped my head around and said No one deserves to be cheated on. Jon made a choice to stay in a relationship in which he wasn't happy. If he didn't like the way he was being treated, it was his responsibility to speak up. Cheating is for cowards.

Mr. R doesn't argue with me on relationship issues. He sort of looked at me like I'd grown another head and said OK, I didn't realize you were so passionate about the whole subject.

I'm not.

I'm passionate about relationships.
I'm passionate about people's hearts.
I'm passionate about people's lives.
I'm passionate about people's feelings.

There have been so many discussions lately on television as to what accounts as cheating:

Sex?

Dinner out?

Time alone?

Long talks on the phone?

Gifts?

I don't think there's one answer... but I do have one 'measuring' stick:

If I wouldn't do or say {this} while my spouse was watching/listening,
it's likely cheating.

I get the question all the time: But why isn't it OK to have friends of the opposite sex?

No one said it wasn't OK.

But if you're using the friend label as a crutch to escape whatever issues you need to deal with in your marriage... it is not OK.

I have a male friend I've known since 11th grade. He has a lot of fantastic qualities and I thoroughly enjoy him as a friend. I never have conversations with him that I wouldn't have right in front of Mr. R. I enjoy our conversations just as I would enjoy the conversation of a good girlfriend.

I don't spend all day looking forward to or thinking about a conversation with him.

When I say he's a friend, he's just that.

This post sort of ties in with this Tuesday Talk post. Cheating, in my opinion, is getting emotional or sexual needs met through another person. Period.

Mr. Realife and I have talked before about emotional cheating. We are both in agreement that it's worse. We made a vow to each other before God that we are committed to each other. So bringing in a third party to meet deep needs without your spouses knowledge is cheating.

It's not fair to be hiding something behind their back.
You don't offer them the opportunity to fix it.

OK... I want to open this up for discussion:

What do you think about emotional cheating?

What do you think constitutes as cheating?

Have you dealt with this? How did you deal with it?