It's My Birthday... I Can Cry If I Want To

1st Birthday, December 20th, 1978

Being a December baby and having 4 older siblings, Christmas was never the best time to have 15 little girls running around the house -- and what exactly does that mean? It means I never had a birthday party with my friends until I was 16 -- I guess our society makes a huge deal out of age 16 and for the first time in my life, I wanted... really wanted, to have a party -- I remember it was a Saturday and so what did I do? Seeing as I always waited until the last minute to do everything I loved living by the seat of my pants, so the morning of my birthday, I called every friend I knew and invited them over... Conclusion? Every. single. one. was. busy. -- go figure --

After sulking for hours on end in my room {because I hide my feelings so well}, my mom called me downstairs to have lunch with the family and give me my birthday presents -- When I walked through the dining room into our kitchen I hear a huge SURPRISE from the other room... There they all were... every friend who'd claimed to have other plans, my whole family, all the people I loved so much... they were all there to celebrate my birthday -- I. was. loved. --

On my 17th birthday I up and left this family to go and live with my biological mother who happened to live near the scariest city in the country the great City of Philadelphia -- This was 14 years ago, today -- It was 14 years ago today I started my venture toward The Great Break, a journey even an author couldn't have imagine and written about -- It was 14 years ago today I threw caution to the wind thought I knew what was best for me and started making my own choices -- Yet every with every birthday I turn one year older, I realize how much I don't know -- It was also 14 years ago that my mother turned 40 and it hit me today that 40 is only 9 years away -- 14 years ago today, I never would have thought I'd be so rich in life, married to a man that loves and adores me, graduated with my Master's Degree, in communication with my dearest friends, close to all of my family and on my way to actually fulling my dreams of opening my own practice and writing --

I have a dear friend (and I'd venture to say, a brother...), Stephen -- He was born on the 26th of December and for years we had a tradition of going Christmas shopping together and by the time our day was over we'd surprise each other, having bought a birthday present for each other -- We've know one another since he was born (seeing as he's younger, et-hem...) and we've had a many conversations about the pros cons of being a December baby -- Cons? Well... it seems that even if your family doesn't lump your presents together with Christmas, friends always do (Not Le, though... ur da bestest, :) There are other cons... such as not having a birthday party til your 16, but clearly I'm over that ;0) --

I could try listing Pros, but it seems Stephen and I could only ever really think of one that we just love... With every birthday, also comes a new year -- Cards say I hope this year brings all the happiness, love, dreams, hopes, desires or {insert wish here} -- Without fail, people are hoping for you that this next year will be a New Beginning and with my birthday, I always feel the joy of a new year approaching... another opportunity to move forward, accomplish one more dream, gain a little bit more wisdom and do a few things differently so I don't go completely insane that may not have worked in my prior years -- With my birthday, it's a truly a New Year and a fresh start...

Something new is that I'm sharing it with each of you, that is a really fun feeling -- Sometimes I feel like I'm just grateful not to be in a psych ward I've lived the life of a 50 year old woman and yet, I treasure my story -- Its grievances, traumas and heartbreaks have taught me that what hasn't killed me, has truly made me stronger because I've allowed them to -- They have also made me into the woman that I am today on my 31st birthday -- I look forward to what this year holds...

I thought it would be neat to see how I "progressed" through the years and then I thought 'heck' I bet my bloggy friends would find it fun, too! So... here I am! I'm not going to try and explain every pic... I'll just preface them with the fact that clearly I had serious blonde/brunette identity issues since I was 15 I went through a few shades of blonde before I realized God knew what he was doing making me a brunette ;0)